I recently discovered my husband and I are expecting our 4th child. While I was shocked and excited, I was very uncomfortable about the whole thing.. You see, I've had 3 previously traumatic cesarean births, so it's not a shocker that I didn't want to experience any of that trauma again. Let me back up and give you some background into my births and the reason I feel the way I do.
I was 21 when I had my daughter Abby. I was young, certainly not a teenager but still naive in the ways of birth. When I went in for a routine office visit at 37 weeks, the dr informed me that my daughter was transverse( laying across my belly instead of head down). They told me they could try to turn her, but they didn't want to risk the cord getting compressed and then said they would need to do a csection.... The next day!!!!! At 37 weeks!! I trusted that the doctors knew what they were doing and agreed. The following morning I gave birth to my daughter Abby. I was not able to hold her for 4 hours after because I had a bad reacts to the anesthesia. I was very upset and emotional. I ended up having severe post partum depression with her. We had trouble breastfeeding and ultimately gave up after a few weeks.
Fast forward to my next pregnancy. I expressed to my doctor that I wanted a vbac. He was completely supportive. (Or so I thought) Apparently the hospital I had planned to deliver at doesn't even allow vbacs, and he knew this, but never told me. My water started leaking the morning of March 16th around 2am. It was just a small trickle, but in the excitement of everything, we called the dr and was advised to go to labor and delivery. I wasn't having any contractions at that point, just some leakage. They tested the fluid and confirmed it was amniotic. I was given a room and hooked up to monitors. My contractions still handle started by around 9 am so the dr. Decided to give me pitocin, which actually has been shown to increases uterine rupture in vbac moms. The contractions were hard and strong for a few hours and I wasn't allowed to walk around or get up put of bed. I felt like a prisoner. The baby kept moving off the monitor and the dr. Decided to put an internal monitor on him. If you don't know what that it, it's a little piece of metal attached to a wire that's is jammed into the top of your baby's skull to measure the heart rate. Was I informed of this before he did it? No. Around 6pm I was 4cm dilated, and in a lot of pain. Pitocin contractions SUCK! I mentioned to my doctor that I could feel pressure down near my old cesarean scar. He took this an an opportunity to say that I was probably rupturing and needed to do an emergency cesarean. I was so scared, and upset. I was wheeled back and they called anesthesia in for my epidural. After 6 attempts of trying to get it in, they said I was too swollen. And needed to knock me out. I missed the birth of my son. My husband missed the birth of his son. It took me a long time to wake up, and recover. We had trouble breastfeeding. I had post partum depression and needed meds... It was another traumatic birth.
When I became pregnant with our third child, I vowed to have a Vba2c. I was able to find a high risk doctor who supported my decision. Everything was going great until the last month of my pregnancy. My family and I were involved in a car accident and were hit from behind. I was driving and wearing my seatbelt but my legs were jammed between the pedals and the seat. My back was pretty messed up and they couldn't do any X-rays or MRIs because I was pregnant. I spent the next few weeks in a wheelchair in extreme pain, not knowing what kind of damage was done to my back. When I went into labor at 41 weeks, the doctor decided that he didn't want to risk me pushing the baby out and doing further damage to my back. I was given another csection with general anesthesia yet again because of the possible spinal injury. I missed the birth of my second son, as sis my husband. We had trouble nursing, luckily I'd didn't suffer any depression this time around but it left me scarred. I felt like a failure. I felt like I didn't have any control over my body or my births. I was never going to let that happen to me again.
I had my first visit with my OB a few weeks ago. I knew she was going to push another cesarean. I didn't expect her to be so hostile about it. What she didn't realize is that I no longer putting up with their BS! I told her about my previous births, and my desire to have a vba3c. Her reaction was horrible. She stated that its against policy.. I nicely told her what I thought of their policy.... She then said, " you don't understand, I'm not comfortable with it!!!" Excuse me??? YOUR not comfortable with it?? I told her If she wasn't comfortable delivering a normal vaginal birth, I feel bad for her other patients. She stood up and left the room. The nurse returned with a paper and said the doctor wasn't going to take me on as a patient unless I consented to a cesarean.. I told her what she could do with that paper and that I was not signing anything. I couldn't believe we were arguing about this on the first visit. The visit that I just wanted to hear that my baby was doing well and how I was feeling.. Not being bullied into another csection. This made me angry. And not in the I want to trash your office angry.. (Ok maybe a little :). But in the "I'm going to prove you wrong" angry.
My husband and I had a long talk. We decided on a Homebirth. I just can't go through that kind of trauma ever again. I won't do it. The system has failed us as women. Normal women in labor are seen as a medical problem that needs to be messed with. We need to start taking back our bodies and births and understand that others don't have a say in what we do with our bodies. Just because y are a trained surgeon, doesn't mean you know SQUAT about normal, natural birth. Seriously, ask any OB now many normal un-augmented births they saw during their training.. ASK these questions! You'll be surprised at the answers.
Our quest is now on for a midwife that will agree to take us on. If that fails, we may be doing unassisted. I'd prefer to have a midwife, but I would rather go unassisted, than to be forced to deliver in another hospital with another doctor who thinks they have all the answers and end with another missed birth of my children.
I was 21 when I had my daughter Abby. I was young, certainly not a teenager but still naive in the ways of birth. When I went in for a routine office visit at 37 weeks, the dr informed me that my daughter was transverse( laying across my belly instead of head down). They told me they could try to turn her, but they didn't want to risk the cord getting compressed and then said they would need to do a csection.... The next day!!!!! At 37 weeks!! I trusted that the doctors knew what they were doing and agreed. The following morning I gave birth to my daughter Abby. I was not able to hold her for 4 hours after because I had a bad reacts to the anesthesia. I was very upset and emotional. I ended up having severe post partum depression with her. We had trouble breastfeeding and ultimately gave up after a few weeks.
Fast forward to my next pregnancy. I expressed to my doctor that I wanted a vbac. He was completely supportive. (Or so I thought) Apparently the hospital I had planned to deliver at doesn't even allow vbacs, and he knew this, but never told me. My water started leaking the morning of March 16th around 2am. It was just a small trickle, but in the excitement of everything, we called the dr and was advised to go to labor and delivery. I wasn't having any contractions at that point, just some leakage. They tested the fluid and confirmed it was amniotic. I was given a room and hooked up to monitors. My contractions still handle started by around 9 am so the dr. Decided to give me pitocin, which actually has been shown to increases uterine rupture in vbac moms. The contractions were hard and strong for a few hours and I wasn't allowed to walk around or get up put of bed. I felt like a prisoner. The baby kept moving off the monitor and the dr. Decided to put an internal monitor on him. If you don't know what that it, it's a little piece of metal attached to a wire that's is jammed into the top of your baby's skull to measure the heart rate. Was I informed of this before he did it? No. Around 6pm I was 4cm dilated, and in a lot of pain. Pitocin contractions SUCK! I mentioned to my doctor that I could feel pressure down near my old cesarean scar. He took this an an opportunity to say that I was probably rupturing and needed to do an emergency cesarean. I was so scared, and upset. I was wheeled back and they called anesthesia in for my epidural. After 6 attempts of trying to get it in, they said I was too swollen. And needed to knock me out. I missed the birth of my son. My husband missed the birth of his son. It took me a long time to wake up, and recover. We had trouble breastfeeding. I had post partum depression and needed meds... It was another traumatic birth.
When I became pregnant with our third child, I vowed to have a Vba2c. I was able to find a high risk doctor who supported my decision. Everything was going great until the last month of my pregnancy. My family and I were involved in a car accident and were hit from behind. I was driving and wearing my seatbelt but my legs were jammed between the pedals and the seat. My back was pretty messed up and they couldn't do any X-rays or MRIs because I was pregnant. I spent the next few weeks in a wheelchair in extreme pain, not knowing what kind of damage was done to my back. When I went into labor at 41 weeks, the doctor decided that he didn't want to risk me pushing the baby out and doing further damage to my back. I was given another csection with general anesthesia yet again because of the possible spinal injury. I missed the birth of my second son, as sis my husband. We had trouble nursing, luckily I'd didn't suffer any depression this time around but it left me scarred. I felt like a failure. I felt like I didn't have any control over my body or my births. I was never going to let that happen to me again.
I had my first visit with my OB a few weeks ago. I knew she was going to push another cesarean. I didn't expect her to be so hostile about it. What she didn't realize is that I no longer putting up with their BS! I told her about my previous births, and my desire to have a vba3c. Her reaction was horrible. She stated that its against policy.. I nicely told her what I thought of their policy.... She then said, " you don't understand, I'm not comfortable with it!!!" Excuse me??? YOUR not comfortable with it?? I told her If she wasn't comfortable delivering a normal vaginal birth, I feel bad for her other patients. She stood up and left the room. The nurse returned with a paper and said the doctor wasn't going to take me on as a patient unless I consented to a cesarean.. I told her what she could do with that paper and that I was not signing anything. I couldn't believe we were arguing about this on the first visit. The visit that I just wanted to hear that my baby was doing well and how I was feeling.. Not being bullied into another csection. This made me angry. And not in the I want to trash your office angry.. (Ok maybe a little :). But in the "I'm going to prove you wrong" angry.
My husband and I had a long talk. We decided on a Homebirth. I just can't go through that kind of trauma ever again. I won't do it. The system has failed us as women. Normal women in labor are seen as a medical problem that needs to be messed with. We need to start taking back our bodies and births and understand that others don't have a say in what we do with our bodies. Just because y are a trained surgeon, doesn't mean you know SQUAT about normal, natural birth. Seriously, ask any OB now many normal un-augmented births they saw during their training.. ASK these questions! You'll be surprised at the answers.
Our quest is now on for a midwife that will agree to take us on. If that fails, we may be doing unassisted. I'd prefer to have a midwife, but I would rather go unassisted, than to be forced to deliver in another hospital with another doctor who thinks they have all the answers and end with another missed birth of my children.
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